Zurich Tonhalle/Zinman - Mahler's Ninth Symphony

I've always found Mahler a bit difficult to make sense of - maybe because there is just so much of it, and I'm impatient - I don't take the time. However this was my first exposure to the ninth, and while it has plenty of what has put me off in the past, length, a suspicion of self-indulgence - I came away with the beginnings of what might be a minor epiphany. I don't normally try and write formally about music - to avoid the risk of ridicule - but I'll make an exception because of the potentially life-changing consequences of this event.

On the night I just had a faint inkling that the pieces of my Mahler jigsaw puzzle were starting to come together. It was only at the end that I felt I realised what the start was all about, and hence how the whole thing worked. And then after thinking about it afterwards, some kind of sense began to emerge. I think next time I will know better what to listen for and the whole work will be more satisfying. I suppose this is true for many pieces - knowing what's coming is important, and it doesn't work so well in retrospect.

As I said, I'm no musical analyst and I'm not trying to compete with the experts, but my own reading of the symphony is that the whole caboodle symbolises life. I don't see anything valedictory about it as an entire piece, other than that it ends with death, as does life. I feel it starts with birth, and if it sounds fateful in the beginning then that is maybe because bursting onto the world is fateful in itself. The rustlings and background heartbeat at the start are what make me think of this. The serene "almost" silence of the ending gives us a perfect, peaceful and satisfying release from the tumult, noise, excitement and even absurdities of the central parts. For me this is affirmative, and in no way tragic. As if at the end of life, you finally make sense of it all, and it feels good. And it is ok to let go.

This is one view of life of course, and it sounds like a fortunate one. Not everyone will look at it this way. It is possible that this view has something to do with middle age - that my perspective of the whole conundrum of life is different from when I was a callow youth, or in my twenties, or thirties, or forties, or .....

In my opinion the performance by the Tonhalle with David Zinman managed this sweep very well There are also a lot of opportunities for individual sections of the orchestra and soloists to shine, and these didn't disappoint me. I don't have anything to compare the performance with, but the closing minutes were magically quiet - as much as they could be without turning the orchestra off. Experiencing this in the concert hall is something that you really cannot reproduce on CD. It was more than just the notes, there was something tangible in the air. Maybe it was the knowledge that 1000 other people were holding their breath too. (Well, most of them...)